The Conversation in the Elevator
I live on the 8th floor of my apartment complex. Every morning at 5:45, I ride the elevator down to the lobby and head out to my car. Every afternoon, I ride the elevator back up.
In the mornings, I’m lucky. Not many people are awake so I usually get the elevator all to myself. In the afternoons, not so much.
I used to hop into the elevator with another person, push the button to my floor and then stare off into the elevator wall careful not to make eye-contact. If you make eye-contact then you feel obliged to smile or say hello and that’s just awkward.
But why? Why is it so awkward for us to look a perfect stranger in the eyes and provide them with a warm smile and a pleasant greeting? Why are we afraid to stand up with confidence and reach out to the people around us with the warmth that we all want others to share with us?
I decided a while back that I would do exactly that. As I pass people throughout the day, it’s my goal to provide them with at least a little bit of encouragement. I now create conversations in the elevator, usually very simply ones as I’m only going up eight floors.
And you know what? It’s great. Try it. I dare you.
Bruce Teague
I would have thought you were naturally an elevator talker. I’m surely not, but after making a career out of talking to random strangers it’s become habit… and you know what? I like it.
Nicholas Cardot
I’m really not. I’ve spent a lot of time developing my own personality into who I am today. I’m now able to talk to people comfortably but I haven’t always been that way. That’s part of the reason why I believe so firmly that anyone can apply the tools necessary to become an engaging leader.
Matt
This is a great tip man. It’s an awesome way to not only build up your own confidence but also to improve other peoples’ days. Nothing can get better than that!
Nicholas Cardot
I completely agree. If you can do something so incredibly simple and the result of doing that simple task is that someone’s day will be made just a little bit brighter, then why not do it? Let’s step outside of our comfort zone and let’s go for it.
Derek Jensen
Really before college for me or even freshman year of college I was that person that was not going to make that initial eye contact. Now, in and out of the elevator I strive to meet strangers (casually). From meeting ‘strangers’ or people I just don’t know I have connected with a few.
Could you just imagine if you were in an elevator and made the initial contact, had a conversation that led to coffee, and you end up feeling happier and satisfied? I can, because its happened to me.
Nicholas Cardot
That’s great, Derek and that’s exactly what I’m talking about. Sometimes you just have to dare to reach out and offer that initial smile and hello.
Priya Florence Shah
To be at peace with others, you must first be at peace with yourself. It takes a degree of self-confidence to be able to look others in the eye and not be afraid to be seen for who you are.
Nicholas Cardot
That’s true but self-confidence also comes from simply doing it. It’s sort or a circular relationship. The more you do it, the more self-confident you become. The more self-confident you become, the more you will do it.
Onibalusi Bamidele
Great Nick!
You did it! You broke the rule and that is what I love! I love going against the odds in anything possible and it has really been effective for me.
Thanks a lot for the great post,
-Onibalusi
Nicholas Cardot
Good. Sometimes you’ve got to go against the way that you’re used to doing things. Step outside your comfort zone and start making things happen.
Ryan
Hi Nicholas,
I too tend to stare off at times rather than address someone. It depends on how I feel. If feeling high energy I will address anybody with a Hello and Smile, when not feeling great I tend to look away.
I think that the fear of rejection is why most choose not to strike up a conversation. Just yesterday I had a smile and hello ready for some person walking down the street but he chose to look away. Rather than judge I embraced the moment for what it is and moved on.
It can be a challenge to maintain a cheery state of mind in the New York City area but I’m happy being an alien most of the time
Ryan
Joe Boyle
Great post, Nick.
I am always passing by people while walking from place to place (since I can’t drive), so making conversation could prove a good idea. Hell, maybe I’ll make an extra friend or a business partner.
Tia Singh, Coach T.I.A
Nice NC, proud of ya
Since I walk up the one flight of stairs to my apartment, know what I do instead?
I look people in the eye and smile at them & say HI! or Morning! on streets. Most people are taken aback and manage a quick smile in return, very few actually avert their eyes & run.
Makes me feel great, makes them feel great, makes the world a smaller, more connected place. Keep taking risks, challenging your comfort zone & inspiring others by modelling such great leadership!
Nicole Bauer
You’re absolutely right! And I’m actually a very friendly person who gives everyone a smile. ^^ But in the elevator? No way, cause as you said I would feel forced to say something, but my problem is: I don’t know what to say! I might have to take a small talk training.